From Margo Since pandemic life is different today than a few years ago, we can actually be around people. Unfortunately, the pandemic affected younger people’s social skills especially. Realistically, the pandemic probably affected all of our social skills to some … Continue reading
How good are we when people give us constructive criticism? It is not easy to admit we are wrong or have a problem. As we get older, it can be easier to admit one’s shortcomings. As for me, I admit … Continue reading
In this new year, we tend to re-evaluate our lives. So we think about our goals for school, work and relationships. We may feel we need changes to improve our life. Do we have good friends we hang out with regularly? Or is there a tendency to being alone or just being with our significant other or family members. Maybe we find it easier just to be by ourselves than dealing with people. Do we have close friends who really understand us? Or are our relationships shallow with just small talk conversations?
God made us to be social people. Interaction with people teaches and helps us to grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Our ability to relate with other people helps our credibility. Unless we can really live as a hermit, we all need to learn how to relate with our friends, family and people better.
In Proverbs 3:27-28, we seek to do good for people which builds connections. When someone is in need, do we seek to help fulfill that need. During these past few years, we’ve offered to buy Costco items for our senior neighbors. Consequently, we regularly cook and invite our neighbor over to eat since she lives alone. Also we should try not to procrastinate in doing good for others. Sometimes we get distracted with our own tasks and forget to do that nice deed for another person. When God blesses us, we need to share His goodness with others.
When a man’s ways please the Lord,
he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him. Proverbs 16:7
If we seek to please the Lord with our actions and deeds, then we will experience peace with people. Since I work mostly at home, I speak to co-workers verbally thru our organization’s tools. Recently I offered advice to someone I hardly know at work. Since his voice and conversation was friendly, I responded in like manner in the way I spoke with him. If this person was not as friendly, I would still be polite, but I might be more cautious in my response. So our demeanor is our physical and verbal expression helps with our connection with people. When we respond to people with God’s love, then people will most likely respond in a peaceful way. Consequently, we need to be genuine in our concern for people. Also we become real when we draw close to God to experience His Love.
Do not plan evil against your neighbor,
who dwells trustingly beside you.
Do not contend with a man for no reason,
when he has done you no harm. Proverbs 3:29-30
But how do we handle difficult people no matter how much we try to be nice? Unfortunately, there is no easy recipe in dealing with troublesome people. But Solomon advises not to plan evil against our neighbor especially when an individual offends us. Thus we seek to be trustworthy in our actions and speech. We should not pick a fight with no cause among our neighbors. Sometimes it is wiser to say less rather than more. Our neighbor sent us a text with a wild accusation about another neighbor. We decided not to say much in our reply other than answering her question.
In Proverbs 26:17, Solomon instructs not to meddle in someone else’s fight. He makes the analogy if someone should pull a dog’s ears. So this action on a dog would probably cause a big fight with a bite. Thus there are times we need to stay out of an argument which is not our fight.
Giving respect is important to grow relationships. In Proverbs 23:10-11, a family’s land was inherited from generation to generation and their prime source of livelihood. Thus moving a property line would be a serious offense and extremely disrespectful. We should not seek to take advantage of other people.
Whoever sings songs to a heavy heart
is like one who takes off a garment on a cold day,
and like vinegar on soda. Proverbs 25:20
Sometimes when our friends go through hard times, we wonder what we can say to help. Accidentally, we may say something insensitive which has an opposite effect – like taking off a garment on a cold day. Sometimes, a friend just needs someone to listen. Or maybe we can ask how we can help. When we say we will pray for someone, we need to sincerely pray. Consequently, God can give us ideas how to help and show us how to be sensitive to that person.
Answer not a fool according to his folly,
lest you be like him yourself.
Answer a fool according to his folly,
lest he be wise in his own eyes. Proverbs 26:4-5
When someone talks to us in an offensive way, how do we respond? Do we follow suit by replying in the same way? It is better to seek to be wise in our words. We don’t want to stoop to their level in our response. God can give us the words to say if we are quick to pray and ask.
Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due,
when it is in your power to act.
Do not say to your neighbor,
“Come back tomorrow and I’ll give it to you”—
when you already have it with you.
Do not plot harm against your neighbor,
who lives trustfully near you.
Do not accuse anyone for no reason—
when they have done you no harm. Proverbs 3:27-30
We live in a “me” world. Hey, we have to think and take of ourselves! We all cannot afford to pay a staff of people to do what needs to be done. So it is easy to be consumed with our “to do” list.
We hopefully are not in our own world, but are connected to various people – friends, family, co-workers and acquaintances.
How do we manage our connections? Do we do a good job? Do we connect to others when we absolutely have to? Or are we often busy and neglect those who are important in our life?
How can we improve our relationships?
In Proverbs, God offers lots of advice and wisdom. Here are some ideas to ponder
These are ideas we all know about and neglect to do sometimes. Since we do live in a “me” world, we often think we live in a world where our relationships should be 50/50 partnership. That would be nice if this 50/50 relationship would always be true. But we all can think of examples when this may not be possible.
The key to building a good relationship which encompasses the points above is being a servant and thinking about the needs of others as a priority over my need. People may not live up to our expectations or ideas. But it is our challenge to accept them as they are and still serve even though it may not be convenient.
When our relationship with God is good, then we can better expand our relationships with a servant’s attitude.
Found in Redwood Glen Christian Campgrounds
Tell the Israelites to designate the cities of refuge, as I instructed you through Moses, so that anyone who kills a person accidentally and unintentionally may flee there and find protection from the avenger of blood. Joshua 20: 2-3
In Joshua 20, the Lord instructs Joshua to set up the cities of refuge where anyone who accidentally kills someone can find a safe place to reside until the death of the high priest in their home city dies. Then the individual could return to their home town.
In Joshua 21, the Levites are allocated the towns throughout the land where they could reside and have pasture to raise livestock. There were 48 towns for the Levites, which allowed them to be accessible to the people. In verses 43-45, we are reminded how the Lord kept all of His good promises to Israel, and all was fulfilled.
In Joshua 22, a civil war almost occurs when the Reubenites, the Gadites and the half-tribe of Manasseh built an altar near the Jordan on the border of Canaan at Geliloth. The other tribes were alarmed thinking the 2 1/2 tribes would be using this altar to worship instead of worshiping with all of Israel. Since the 2 1/2 tribes were on the west side of the Jordan, they perhaps felt isolated and felt they needed the altar to be witness for future generations that they were united as one nation of Israel. The 2 1/2 tribes were committed to worship the Lord at his sanctuary with the other tribes. Thus when the Phinehas (the priest) and the other leaders heard this, they were pleased, and no war occurred.
How can we find peach and refuge as we read the 3 chapters above?
We need to choose peace in our relationships with others, so we can also find a refuge among those individuals in our life. Let’s seek to nurture our relationships to be more precious and beautiful just as this wild flower is in this post.
The ultimate refuge for peace is Christ. We need to chose Christ as our refuge from sin and hurt. He can provide us with perfect peace.
Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it. Proverbs 3:27 KJV
We enjoyed a good time at the San Diego Zoo and spent time watching the above flamingos with their interlocking beaks. I looked up why they do this. When we were watching the birds, they kept in this position for a while. We couldn’t stay their forever to see how long they would do this. This interaction is called “Bill Fencing”. This aggression between other memebers of the flock is used in protecting young and during mating rituals. So it sounds like this can be a love and hate activity.
I can relate to this since we can speak about love but our actions can indicate otherwise.
How should we act towards one another to improve our relationships?
What should be our purpose behind our relationships?
When our relationship with Christ is good, then this should improve our relationships with each other.
I was at Costco with my big cart and was preoccupied talking to my mom. A man comes by irritated that I was in his way and made a rude remark about my position. My husband did not appreciate this other man’s comment. but was glad the Holy Spirit stopped him from acting or speaking. I just replied “Sorry” to the man. I could have made the situation worse if I wasn’t really sorry I was in the way.
How often do we get into trouble when we are thinking about our self first and are not thinking about others.
Consider how we can improve our interaction and relationships with others so we are not “Bill Fencing”.
blessings4ever 